Weighted List

 I met with Brian O'day this week to discuss the decision I am trying to make. Brian is an elder at Pillar Church of Jacksonville where we are members and is the Executive Director of the Praetorian Project. He also served as an officer in the Marine Corps for ten years and got out to pursue ministry vocationally just when he was up for promotion to Major. 

He gave me some good things to think about. First he stressed that I may be overlooking the transition process and the administrative strain that it is to actually get papers and leave the military (final physical exams, check out procedures, etc..), next he advised that Meghan stay in Jacksonville during the deployment, that it is important for me to have a home to come back to after being gone for half a year. Next he made the point that Men were made to go out, kill something, and bring it home. This was to say that by nature men leave the home, do work, and return to the home. He has seen many men leave the military to move back home and settle for any desk job and begin to crumble away inside. This was a point that I was wary about. I completely understand what he is saying, and in many ways I resinate with it. It is not a bad thing to have pride in what you do. But I would say it is a sign of misplaced priority to only have pride in what you do, and not who you do it for and why. The who and the why can be accomplished in almost any vocation. This illuminates the potential that your pride is in yourself, and how you look to others, and how you feel, and not what you are doing for others through your vocation. The point above can get sticky, all that to say I took it with reservations. I think if you change your framework, "going out and killing something" can be as simple as making a sell to a client and bringing home a little extra for your family. Killing it can simply be coming home to the sweet aroma of your wife's cooking and kids laughter after a good days work. 

Brian encouraged me to write a weighted Pro-Con list. He said pick two things: 1- Why would I get out of the Marine Corps in March of 2024 and 2-Why would I stay in the Marine Corps for two more years after deployment. 

Then write out three to five reasons, in which you could stand up and wholeheartedly say, this is the reason I am making this decision. Once those have been written, put a weight to them, a percentage. Brian and his wife have done this with many decisions and found that upon looking at the results the decision is usually quite clear. 

Here is what I came up with. 

Why would I leave the Marine Corps in March of 2024?

1. (60%) So we as a family can put down roots -  Church, community, relationships, physical land/home, etc
• Can we do this if we stay in? No.. well yes it will just be delayed by two years. 
2. (30%)So we can live close to family (Meghan's Mom and Dad, my sister, my Grandmother)
• Can we do this if we stay in? No.. delayed by two years. 
3. (10%)To start building/saving for a family business
• Can we do this if we stay in? Saving yes, building no - at least it would be delayed.

Why would I stay in the Marine Corps for at least two more years after Deployment?

1. (35%) To have more time to intentionally transition out of the Marine Corps (Find a job, home, and have two years to do so with steady pay/health care)
• Can we do this if we get out right away? No - it will be rushed, however we do have a free place to stay should everything not line up right away. 
2. (30%)To have a teaching job and give back before getting out (This by the way is not guaranteed to happen)
• Can I do this if we get out right away? No - however all my experience is not lost, it will be brought into whatever job I do, I just won't be giving back and teaching Marines. 
3. (35%)Because I like being a Marine Officer and have pride in what I do. 
• What happens to this if I get out right away? Won't ever lead Marines again, will need to change my framework. 

This was a helpful tool - I think I found that my three reason surrounding why I would leave are family oriented, and my three reasons for staying another two years are mostly inwardly oriented. Meghan and I have always told eachother family will take priority in the decisions we make over jobs, finances, etc. These are not all mutually exclusive, obviously the job I have effects my family. 

I believe I am left with much to consider still - I am now thinking mostly about if we need to rush into exiting the military or if it is wiser to wait two years to get our affairs more in order. 

I am going on ship for two and a half weeks starting this Sunday and Meghan and I have decided that a final decision will be due when I get back.