Previously I have always written these posts with my children in mind. I have prayed something will be written here that they may learn from later in life as they grow. Up until this point, those children have been daughters only, but this marks the first time that I write with knowledge that a son is on the way. As I sit and type on my keyboard I can feel the weight of that. I know how much I needed the teaching of my father when I was young, and I know how much my son will look to me to define for him things like masculinity, honor, duty, and discipline. This weight is welcome, celebrated in fact, but I do feel it and it is palpable.
Without further ado, this March we will welcome our first son into this world. Gardner Todd Blansett.
Gardner you will learn as you grow about my upbringing and my testimony, but it was largely shadowed by a lack of clear definitions/understanding of manhood, and of seeking for it in worldly places. Because of that I wasted time, I ruined friendships, I hurt women by taking from them that which was not mine to take, I reinforced sinful habits, and I betrayed your Mom multiple times. You will get a thorough explanation of all, but for now what I want you to know is that from your birth, you will know what it means to be a man. It is in your name.
A man is a Gardener. You can tell the stock of a man by looking at the state of his wife, by looking at the state of his children, by looking at his household. Just as deeds are more revealing than words, so a man's personal life, his home life, those who know him best, those he sleeps next to and eats meals with, will reveal much more about him than his outward presentation. Men raise families, Men love their wives, they teach and discipline and grow their children, and they sacrifice all worldly success to see these things through. We see this in the qualifications of an Elder, in that he will be one who manages his household well, for how could one lead the people of God if he cannot lead his own family? It all starts at home, in a man's own garden.
This is a faithful saying: If a man desires the position of a bishop, he desires a good work. 2A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, temperate, sober-minded, of good behavior, hospitable, able to teach; 3not given to wine, not violent, not greedy for money, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not covetous; 4one who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence 5(for if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?); 6not a novice, lest being puffed up with pride he fall into the same condemnation as the devil. 7Moreover he must have a good testimony among those who are outside, lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil. - 1 Timothy 3: 1-7
This is a topic I could write about endlessly as I see its implications and applications through all of scripture and in each day that I walk this Earth, so I will rest here: When a boy begins to cultivate rather than consume, when he is a cultivator and not a consumer, he becomes a Man. The point of boyhood is to reach Manhood. I wait for the day to celebrate with you as you enter into Manhood and as you begin to lead a family of your own.
Cultivate vs. Consume: I first heard this idea phrased this way by Todd Henry VanVoorst. It is him who your middle name honors. Todd came into my life when I was in dire need of instruction and example. He taught me about these truths written above and he taught me how to pursue them. As I look back on my life it was meeting him that marked my journey to manhood and my love for God's word. It is only right fitting that my first Son be named in honor of him. I pray that as you grow you will know Todd well, I pray that you will learn from him as I continue to learn from him, and I pray that will love God with the fervor in which he Loves God.
Gardner Todd, I am anxiously awaiting your arrival. Your two older sisters are awaiting your arrival as well, and Aspen regularly reminds your mom that Brother is in her Tummy. Much love awaits you Gardner, and much responsibility awaits you as well. Good thing that's something you're made for. I love you and your mom and I can't wait to meet you.
Amen, brother. What an honor. May Gardner learn these truths younger than you or I did and understand, apply, and pass them along better than you and I have to the glory of our God and Father and the good of our neighbors.
ReplyDeletePsalm 78:2-7a
I will open my mouth in a parable: I will utter dark sayings of old: Which we have heard and known, and our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, shewing to the generation to come the praises of the Lord, and his strength, and his wonderful works that he hath done. For he established a testimony in Jacob, and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers, that they should make them known to their children: That the generation to come might know them, even the children which should be born; who should arise and declare them to their children: That they might set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments: